Dreaming from the Depths of Despair
I dreamed of riding my horse again. I dreamed about going back to school and getting an education to be able to read and write better and have a new career, so I could feed my family.
That was motivated the day my wife brought groceries home from the store. I asked her where she got the money for the groceries because we had no unemployment and no worker’s comp because I was self-employed when I had the accident. The ranch was sold, the stock was sold, all the equipment was sold, and two years later there was no money. She said, “We’re on welfare.”
I said, “No, I will not accept it. As long as I can breathe, I will not accept being a charity case and taking welfare.”
She said, “We’ve got to feed the children.”
And I said, “There’s got to be another way.” I was so angry that I told her to take back the groceries.
You see, sometimes, sometimes you have to sink into the pits of the worst despair there is before you really start to ignite the spark to fight for life. That’s what it took for me.